We all have interesting (and maybe tainted) recollections of what our mothers were like when we were kids. And this has given me a new fear: What are my kids going to say I did when they were little?
Are they going to remember the home-cooked meals and homework help? Are they going to remember story time and snuggles? Or are they going to remember the hours I stood at the counter with my laptop writing stories?
I honestly hope they remember both -- that I was a mom who loved and adored them, but also worked hard at my own personal goals.
And speaking of goals, I have two new ones:
- When it's time to leave my made up world, I need to be 100 percent present in the real one. My kids can tell the difference when I'm really paying attention versus rewriting/plotting in my head. They know when I'm not truly engaged. This is something I really want to work on.
- Everything I write has to mean something. I was proud of my mom. She worked hard and was awesome at what she did. In a few years, I want my kids to read my stories (even the unpublished ones) and be proud of the things I created.
7 comments:
Excellent post! I need to do more of a all-in approach to writing and mommying, so I'm giving 100% to whichever has my attention. Some days I feel like I'm doing a halfsy job on both items. It'll get better when they all go to school, Becky, right? That way we'll have larger chunks of disposable time.
@Jess: It's nice that I have one at school five-days a week, and one in preschool three-days till lunch. I've given myself a "movie-time" every day so I can have 90 minutes of writing that doesn't happen during naps or after bedtime. Lately, that's been my ONLY writing time. Someday (in about four years) all of mine will be in school at least part-time...I guess I'll know then what free time really looks like!
this is something every mom/writer struggles with, I think. I definitely do. And those are great goals, I might add to my list as well.
@Prerna: I think all devoted writers struggle with this. It's easy to disappear into our own worlds and ignore our characters for our loved ones. When there is conflict or tension with our characters (that we don't want), we just rewrite them.
Abusive, neglectful, drunk most of the time. Bipolar and defiantly unmedicated. Raged and screamed for hours a day, broke my meager possessions, tore up my original artwork, tossed me out of the house for any excuse or none or just on a whim.
So it seems to me you're doing fine, Becky. I wouldn't worry about zoning out once in a while.
Yay for story time and your new goals! I think it's very true that our memories are subjective. I have a tendency to focus on bad memories of my past other than good ones. But I treasure those good ones I can recall, and I'm sure your kids will, too! :-)
Redleg, I'm sorry to hear that. You have my sympathies.
My mother was around the house, mostly. Did some part time and volunteering, but mostly ran the house and baked.
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